One step at a time

On a car ride from Gurgaon to Delhi, a wise man once told me ‘Travel, oh naïve one! If you live here forever, you will think that the mountains mean north. But that is not the case. ‘Cause even the Himalayas are south for someone. Just depends on who he is and where he stands’

True and true. It’s a well recorded, documented fact. So I guess it’s pointless to talk about it. I can’t tell anyone anything new about the merits of travelling (especially since till very recently, I needed to be told that myself). But then, why are parents excited when their child says his first words or takes his first steps? He is neither the first nor the last child to do so. Likewise, I am taking my first steps towards understanding how travel builds perspective. Doing what everyone must do to grow up. Such a day brings happiness and hope and excitement. It’s a big day for me!

There are many small and big things I learn everyday. They all tell me the same broad story… its all about context & perspective. Here are some things that struck me today… So obvious yet so huge… I choose to be amazed at them…

Like a Finn told me that her 85 year old grandfather who got widowed 3 years ago now has an 80 year old girlfriend who sent him a mushy SMS on the first mobile he ever owned! And in my own family, a 38 year old widow is told that she now has no purpose to live but to bring up her daughters. Another relationship for her is simply unthinkable.

A more routine instance crosses my mind. The so called successful people in India brag about how they see their children awake only on weekends. On other days, they leave too early, get back too late and are generally too occupied to spend time with their children. Such people are not considered successful in Finland. Infact this is one of the very, very few things you can say to a Finn to completely put him off. Its one of the few things where Finns don’t mind commenting or judging someone’s personal life.

I know of both sides. There are both right in their own ways. I have lived or seen both perspectives. But this is just two. I hope to be a student of human nature and culture. Are two chapters of one book enough for me to be a budding scholar? I know there is a long way to go. But how long? If knowing different people and living in different places builds perspective, how many places are you expected to see before you have enough perspective? Or as Bob Dylan has famously said
“How many roads must a man walk down

Before you call him a man?”

And to complicate matters further for me, one of my favourite lines (told to me by a friend on a train journey from Jamshedpur to Bombay, but that’s another story…) is ‘The only thing the human mind cannot tolerate is complete perspective’.

So I need perspective, lots of it, but not so much that it’s too much. That’s tough. Or is it? It’s just like sunshine or exercise or water or love. I need lots of it, but not too much! The right amount will strike me… When the time is right, the truth will reveal itself…

Full of promise - Weekends.... and life!

I love the little bubbles of anticipation that a Friday brings. The approaching weekend seems almost magical in the possibilities it holds. Two full days of fun and rest and friends, and who knows what else :)? What in the world could be better than irrational happiness?

Even if the actual weekend is ordinary or even disappointing, the feeling of a Friday afternoon is unbeatable. I have been lucky to always have a 5 day week, though school, college and work. So Friday has been my favourite day of the week.

Not that the week is too boring or tiring. Not that work is not enjoyable in itself. Infact the whole point of a Friday is that the week exists. It’s the ups and downs that make the roller coaster… otherwise it would be a monotonous journey with no excitement… The Mondays make the Fridays and the Fridays make the Mondays…

Everyone smiles more on a Friday. People are more cheery & relaxed, they talk about weekend plans. Friday is like a mini Christmas every week!

Fridays are all about anticipation. So what is this 'anticipation'? I think one of the things that make life worth living. It’s like hope on prozac. It’s what interrupts the drudgery of human life and uplifts us where we see what is special about it. Anticipation is the feeling before the first date, the first kiss, a new country, a new friend, even a new shirt! It’s the drum roll… and what would life be without that drama… The feeling of being the lead in the movie of your life… Of being special, even if to no one else, but to yourself…

On that note, a happy weekend to you!

A look at my new home

One amazing thing about Finland is the silence. Its everywhere. The sounds that you hear are the sounds of productivity. Keyboards tapping, buses efficiently ferrying people to their destinations, printers whirring, a quick phonecall somewhere... No chit chat, no idling, no banter. The air is of a people hard at work, quietly. Much like the duck which is calm on the surface and paddling away furiously underwater. So much so, that even their children dont cry! I am yet to see bratty behaviour or temper tantrums here.

Its very obvious why this country is successful inspite of the hard conditions and the limited workforce. The people who are around, they work! Just shut up and do what you have to. So much for all those away from here (& I was a guilty party) who scoff at the 4 pm office closing or the month long summer breaks. The Finns earn that fair & square.

Its a big change from India. Office is more noisy & alive. People around you are sharing more of their lives. Markets are noisy, children cry, hawkers shout, vehicles make all the noise they want. Its a young country alive and kicking. Making its presence felt in more ways than one. Surviving the blows, overcoming the hunger, making most of the internal diversity, fighting to make its way in the elite club of the 'developed' countries...

The social lubricant in India is the small talk. The Finns are notorious about their lack of the ability to say sweet nothings... but there is another thing thats works as the social lubricant in Finland... Genuine consideration for others, non interference and equality...

So is the Finnish way better? I dont think so... Is it worse? Definitely not... Its just how it is... Its different....

So whats the point? The point is that a beautiful tapestry cannot be created by threads of just one colour. It takes all kinds. An India need not be a Finland to be successful, a Finland need not be an India to be vibrant. A Finn can live in India and soak in the colours and an Indian can live in Finland to learn sisu. I have so much to do, so much to learn... Cant wait :)

My first blog

Another one bites the dust. I thought I was one of the most devout pen and paper fans… Now I am about to start blogging. I always wondered, even little girls have diaries with locks on them – why do grown people write in the open like that? But as I have seen a few blogs, I am beginning to understand that a blog is anything you want it to be. A diary or journal, a learning log, a digital conversation, anything you can make of it. It can range from intensely personal to completely professional. It can work as a heart to heart with your best friend or could be a phone meeting with colleagues from around world. Anything at all…

But what will I write about? I don’t have anything to say… Or do I? I am beginning one of the most exciting journeys of my life so far. I want to share my experiences with my friends, I want to capture these memories forever, I want to set some people thinking. Have I actually lost the excuse that I don’t blog because I have nothing to blog about?

The old school of thought and the new one sit on either of my shoulders and whisper in my ears. Just that they are not obviously black or white. Or for that matter cautious or tempting. They are just two opposing voices. Let me try to yin and yang them into cooperating with each other.

It’s Finland that makes me want to blog. ‘Why Finland’ is what all non-Nokia people back home asked me when I was preparing to leave. Ofcourse there are the rational reasons. It’s the global HO… the exposure, the contacts, the chance to live in Europe, the role full of promise… But in my mind, there is a slightly offbeat, erratic, almost romantic aspect to why I am in Finland. I went to a Parsi school, not a convent. I studied Commerce, not Science. I went to XLRI, not an IIM. I studied HR, not Finance. Now I am in Finland, not in USA. In a weird way, that makes sense. These were all turns of fate or serendipity, not something I plotted for. But it forms a pattern. I have always ended up in the slightly offbeat, non commercial version of the standard order. Finland over the States just adds up and establishes the pattern. Whatever has been my peer group or standard world view, my life has taken the path not so central. All Indian parents want their kids to study in a convent school, become doctors or go to an IIM. What I have is not better or worse, but its just (in the case of Finland, literally!) the road less traveled. And I hope it will make all the difference.

But I digress…

So blogging it is. What will it be? A fad or a long term outlet? Will I have something to say regularly or will this just die out like my guitar lessons? Will I reveal more than I should? Both the old school and the new one are telling me to take it as it comes…