I am the kind of person who takes an immediate liking to something, and also sometimes an immediate disliking. I have been wrong so, so many times in my first impressions that it doesn’t even embarrass me anymore. I have been advised, and I have goaded myself to fight this natural instinct to rate anything too quickly. I work on that, I think I am getting better… really slowly, really really slowly.
One thing that I was NOT wrong about in my first instinctive reaction was how I felt about the Finns. Not many people would agree to the epithet ‘cute’, but that is the first word that comes to my mind. People might find the Finns a little too straight, but for me it validates my own natural tendency and like here begets like. I liked them when I first walked into this country (actually, I must pat myself on the back. I had no opinion of the Finns when I first visited… I actually formed the opinion on my real arrival to Finland which happened to be the 2nd trip. It might not count because I probably made up my mind on the first weekend but trying to use positive reinforcement here so please let’s just go along).
Here are some things that I see around and find adorable….
Escalators are for kissing… Finns are not big on public display of affection (atleast when sober). But there is something exceptional about escalators, especially those from a subway platform. It’s on those that they feel this strong urge to kiss their partners…. Just something I see :)
How they say ‘plus’ before saying the temperature as if it is such a rarity :). Like my favourite one, it’s plus 40 in Delhi in summer. Well it could not have been minus 40 right? I am so used to the minus being out of the ordinary that I would say it’s 10 degrees, not plus 10… In my head it is the Finnish twist to the metric system. The default is that temperature will be below freezing, so if it is ‘plus’ it deserves a super special mention. It’s like we Indians saying, it was MINUS 2 at night in Chandigarh… Perspectives, perspectives…
Summer holiday (not an exclusive Finnish concept, but I saw it here first)…. The legitimacy, the expectation, the build up, the universal applicability… not restricted to children or those not ‘serious’ about their careers… it is such a cute question ‘What will you do on your summer holiday’...
The amazing paradoxical combination of humility and nationalism... They care enough about protecting their language & making everything available in it to translate almost any foreign language book in it. They hold concepts like sauna, summer holiday, Lapland in almost religious reverence. But yet are so humble & self deprecating about their country. ‘Ofcourse must be tough to come here after living in India’, ‘ofcourse no one wants to holiday in Finland’… how beautiful is the mix and how seamless…
Baby hair… Even grown up Finns have baby hair, soft and downy… I love it….
How fast they walk… ok I admit it, all the Finnish grannies taking a leisurely stroll walk faster than me going to work….I was initially a bit surprised, even tried to be competitive. No, every single person walking a kilometer behind me will NOT overtake me in the next 5 minutes… I tried, really did…But eventually, I gave up… they walk fast… period…
Talk Finnish to everyone at first… yes I thought it a bit strange at first. Shop assistants, bus drivers etc all talk to you in Finnish even when you are so obviously not a Finn… puzzled me to begin with, is this their way of saying that you should learn Finnish if you live in this country? But no, I realized eventually, it’s not that at all. When they see you, the colour of your skin and hair and eyes doesn’t strike them, they don’t judge or classify you. They just talk in the way most natural to them, they just talk in the language they know best. They talking Finnish to me is not their way of saying ‘hey keep up or get out’… it just tells me they feel natural and comfortable around me and don’t pigeonhole me anywhere…
Does it make you want to know them?
Showing posts with label finland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label finland. Show all posts
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Rezpekt!
I am supposed to be going through my withdrawal phase. The initial euphoria of a new experience when over is supposed to lead to the feeling of disappointment and irritation, you can see more wrong than right and generally feel low. It is also the dark, dreary, grey time of the year – long nights, dark mornings, a greyish light (if you must call it that) for a few hours in the middle of the day. That compounded with the fact that I grew up in a place where there is bright sunshine for 10-12 hours a day, so a dark 9 am is really shocking for me. I can really wallow in self pity right now…psychology (or something like that) allows me to!
But I am not. I am not sad or low or disappointed. I am more amazed by the day. The more I know about Finland, the more I grow to like & respect the place. I am happy to be here and learn from an amazingly egalitarian people.
The harsh climate could have been an excuse to be selfish and crabby. It’s not. They say the hard conditions teach them to value one another & help those in need. I find the Finns more accepting, helpful, polite and genuine than any other set I have met so far.
The efficiency is to be seen to be believed. It’s a splash of ice cold water on the faces (my ex face probably included) who think that just the hours given to work are measures of commitment & effectiveness. When the Finns agree to some work, then genuinely ‘agree’ and put in their best without excuses or cribs.
All services actually work. Bank cards reach you in a day; taxis accept credit cards and provide warm noise free service (at a price ofcourse); store workers are polite & attentive… I could just go on and on.
It probably takes a long, long time to go from a customary ‘Moi’ if eye contact is made to a point where there is real conversation & friendship with a Finn. But it is also really uncommon for Finns to backbite or sharp elbow someone. This appeals to me far more than a culture where you are friends the day you meet but you also think it is okay to hurt or harm that friend.
The default mode is to trust. Saves so much time & energy it's unbelievable.
Egalitarian, equal, humble, fair, honest. I value my new home enough to feel an affinity to that blue & white flag when I travel outside this idealistic world.
Genuine. That is the word. Genuine in work and friendship. Genuine in the initial shyness, genuine when they become your friends. Genuine no’s, genuine yeses. That is what I genuinely respect. So my self named friend, I finally found the right place to knock my chest and say ‘Rezpekt!’
I get closer to knowing a country I never thought I will know. The honeymoon maybe over, but the love affair continues….
But I am not. I am not sad or low or disappointed. I am more amazed by the day. The more I know about Finland, the more I grow to like & respect the place. I am happy to be here and learn from an amazingly egalitarian people.
The harsh climate could have been an excuse to be selfish and crabby. It’s not. They say the hard conditions teach them to value one another & help those in need. I find the Finns more accepting, helpful, polite and genuine than any other set I have met so far.
The efficiency is to be seen to be believed. It’s a splash of ice cold water on the faces (my ex face probably included) who think that just the hours given to work are measures of commitment & effectiveness. When the Finns agree to some work, then genuinely ‘agree’ and put in their best without excuses or cribs.
All services actually work. Bank cards reach you in a day; taxis accept credit cards and provide warm noise free service (at a price ofcourse); store workers are polite & attentive… I could just go on and on.
It probably takes a long, long time to go from a customary ‘Moi’ if eye contact is made to a point where there is real conversation & friendship with a Finn. But it is also really uncommon for Finns to backbite or sharp elbow someone. This appeals to me far more than a culture where you are friends the day you meet but you also think it is okay to hurt or harm that friend.
The default mode is to trust. Saves so much time & energy it's unbelievable.
Egalitarian, equal, humble, fair, honest. I value my new home enough to feel an affinity to that blue & white flag when I travel outside this idealistic world.
Genuine. That is the word. Genuine in work and friendship. Genuine in the initial shyness, genuine when they become your friends. Genuine no’s, genuine yeses. That is what I genuinely respect. So my self named friend, I finally found the right place to knock my chest and say ‘Rezpekt!’
I get closer to knowing a country I never thought I will know. The honeymoon maybe over, but the love affair continues….
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Let's make things better
I have heard somewhere, ‘the human mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled’. So true. Our mind is not limited in what it can learn. There is a whole wide world to explore, things to pick up, things to ponder about and as important if not more, things to be able to lose, fashionably known as unlearning.
In the series about my experiences in this new country, I want to share with you a very important attitude difference that I have not ever read in a culture studies book. The attitude that stems from security, that allows you to divorce yourself from what you do and be able to look at your own work objectively.
When I was in India, I had heard that people in Finland work on a single project for months on end. Sometimes it can even be a few years. My reality at that time told me, they will be passionate about that project, will know everything there is to know about it, but will be super protective about it too. I told myself, never ever mention to a Finn that your project is useless/ outdated/ waste or anything even a fraction as insulting as these words. Cmon, this was what he is doing for so long, calling it worthless will be like calling him worthless!
Right? Yes, they are passionate and know everything there is to know. They understand links, they know history, they get the technical, they’ve analysed everything in and around the project. They do a thorough job, no doubt about that. But they are not super protective about it. They are the first to admit when the project lacks in something (I wonder if that also comes by knowing it well) or if they have made a mistake or even if the project is irrelevant or outdated. They know that they are not the project, if it does well, great. But if it doesn’t, then they have failed, they are not failures.
It’s not the same back home. Self image is so linked to the work you do, that if someone criticizes the work, they are insulting you personally. You are your work. It has probably the biggest part to play in who you think you are, and what others think of you. Ofcourse you have to protect it. At the cost of being defensive about your work. At the risk of being trapped inside an ivory tower. Jeopardising the work or the company. Putting your learning on hold. Guard it with your life, lest someone should correct you.
I don’t want to be listing what all India does wrong. I just want to try to learn the best things about this new culture. I want to be secure and objective like these people (whoever they are, Westerners, Finns or my company people). I want to be learning each day. I don’t want to spin my own web and get stuck in it. I don’t want to be the personification of the ‘not invented here’ syndrome. I want to take risks, and I want to be able to fail well. Gracefully accept my ‘developmental areas’ and not euphemise them. It’s for no one else’s benefit, but for my own.
So here’s to one new realization and one new unlearning. I don’t have to carry around the legacy of defensiveness. I can dump it somewhere, and breath in the fresh, cold, crisp air of being a secure worker, an open person and a constant learner.
In the series about my experiences in this new country, I want to share with you a very important attitude difference that I have not ever read in a culture studies book. The attitude that stems from security, that allows you to divorce yourself from what you do and be able to look at your own work objectively.
When I was in India, I had heard that people in Finland work on a single project for months on end. Sometimes it can even be a few years. My reality at that time told me, they will be passionate about that project, will know everything there is to know about it, but will be super protective about it too. I told myself, never ever mention to a Finn that your project is useless/ outdated/ waste or anything even a fraction as insulting as these words. Cmon, this was what he is doing for so long, calling it worthless will be like calling him worthless!
Right? Yes, they are passionate and know everything there is to know. They understand links, they know history, they get the technical, they’ve analysed everything in and around the project. They do a thorough job, no doubt about that. But they are not super protective about it. They are the first to admit when the project lacks in something (I wonder if that also comes by knowing it well) or if they have made a mistake or even if the project is irrelevant or outdated. They know that they are not the project, if it does well, great. But if it doesn’t, then they have failed, they are not failures.
It’s not the same back home. Self image is so linked to the work you do, that if someone criticizes the work, they are insulting you personally. You are your work. It has probably the biggest part to play in who you think you are, and what others think of you. Ofcourse you have to protect it. At the cost of being defensive about your work. At the risk of being trapped inside an ivory tower. Jeopardising the work or the company. Putting your learning on hold. Guard it with your life, lest someone should correct you.
I don’t want to be listing what all India does wrong. I just want to try to learn the best things about this new culture. I want to be secure and objective like these people (whoever they are, Westerners, Finns or my company people). I want to be learning each day. I don’t want to spin my own web and get stuck in it. I don’t want to be the personification of the ‘not invented here’ syndrome. I want to take risks, and I want to be able to fail well. Gracefully accept my ‘developmental areas’ and not euphemise them. It’s for no one else’s benefit, but for my own.
So here’s to one new realization and one new unlearning. I don’t have to carry around the legacy of defensiveness. I can dump it somewhere, and breath in the fresh, cold, crisp air of being a secure worker, an open person and a constant learner.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Home is where the heart is...
Someone asked me recently, “Are you homesick?” I made all the right noises, “Yes ofcourse I miss India, but this place is very nice too”. But it set me thinking. Am I homesick? Am I even sure where home is anymore? Till a couple of years back, I was very clear. Home is Bombay. Not even Mumbai, I wasn’t going to let anyone change the name of my city. It's Bombay. Where I was born. Where my parents & my little sis live. Where my school is. Where most of my old friends are. Ofcourse my home is Bombay, no question. It was almost a loyalty issue, I wasn’t going to abandon what brought me up. Bombay, yes, that was always home.
Clarity is a funny thing I guess. It can abandon you sometimes. But all for the good; not for nothing it’s said – wise (wo)men change their minds, fools never.
So what has changed over the past year, and especially over the past month? Ofcourse the obvious changes. I lived in Gurgaon and eventually grew to like it. I took to Finland better and quicker. Having a place of my own, living the independent life, doing what I want when I want. But I think there is more than just the movement. It’s about having met people who have moved often and are better for it. They have the opportunity to develop perspectives; the world is their oyster, they are students of change and variety. I had only imagined their lives. In my mind, their lives were uncertain, their friends were temporary, their roots were not deep, and they were drifters, rolling stones gathering no moss. But now I see them with my own eyes. They as as successful (or not) as those who live in one place always. They have as many friends (or not), they are as happy with their lives (or not) as the ones who don’t move. They are people… as varied as any other group, with as much a chance to be happy as anyone else. But they have what I did not so far – their own eyes to look at a new sky, not the third hand view in a magazine. Their own ears to hear new accents, not those on a television. Their own minds to understand a new culture, not a precooked version from a culture studies book. I want it. At the cost of the growing pains.
This clarity might abandon me again. I might pine for the heat, the chillies, the crowds, the affection. I might want to eat mum cooked food and be 2 minutes away from a friend’s house who I have know all my life. I might want the luxury of someone else doing my dishes and ironing my shirts. I might want to dance all night at a friend’s wedding or celebrate my favourite festivals with my favourite people. I might want my old life back. But not just as yet :)…
Clarity is a funny thing I guess. It can abandon you sometimes. But all for the good; not for nothing it’s said – wise (wo)men change their minds, fools never.
So what has changed over the past year, and especially over the past month? Ofcourse the obvious changes. I lived in Gurgaon and eventually grew to like it. I took to Finland better and quicker. Having a place of my own, living the independent life, doing what I want when I want. But I think there is more than just the movement. It’s about having met people who have moved often and are better for it. They have the opportunity to develop perspectives; the world is their oyster, they are students of change and variety. I had only imagined their lives. In my mind, their lives were uncertain, their friends were temporary, their roots were not deep, and they were drifters, rolling stones gathering no moss. But now I see them with my own eyes. They as as successful (or not) as those who live in one place always. They have as many friends (or not), they are as happy with their lives (or not) as the ones who don’t move. They are people… as varied as any other group, with as much a chance to be happy as anyone else. But they have what I did not so far – their own eyes to look at a new sky, not the third hand view in a magazine. Their own ears to hear new accents, not those on a television. Their own minds to understand a new culture, not a precooked version from a culture studies book. I want it. At the cost of the growing pains.
This clarity might abandon me again. I might pine for the heat, the chillies, the crowds, the affection. I might want to eat mum cooked food and be 2 minutes away from a friend’s house who I have know all my life. I might want the luxury of someone else doing my dishes and ironing my shirts. I might want to dance all night at a friend’s wedding or celebrate my favourite festivals with my favourite people. I might want my old life back. But not just as yet :)…
Monday, September 17, 2007
My first blog
Another one bites the dust. I thought I was one of the most devout pen and paper fans… Now I am about to start blogging. I always wondered, even little girls have diaries with locks on them – why do grown people write in the open like that? But as I have seen a few blogs, I am beginning to understand that a blog is anything you want it to be. A diary or journal, a learning log, a digital conversation, anything you can make of it. It can range from intensely personal to completely professional. It can work as a heart to heart with your best friend or could be a phone meeting with colleagues from around world. Anything at all…
But what will I write about? I don’t have anything to say… Or do I? I am beginning one of the most exciting journeys of my life so far. I want to share my experiences with my friends, I want to capture these memories forever, I want to set some people thinking. Have I actually lost the excuse that I don’t blog because I have nothing to blog about?
The old school of thought and the new one sit on either of my shoulders and whisper in my ears. Just that they are not obviously black or white. Or for that matter cautious or tempting. They are just two opposing voices. Let me try to yin and yang them into cooperating with each other.
It’s Finland that makes me want to blog. ‘Why Finland’ is what all non-Nokia people back home asked me when I was preparing to leave. Ofcourse there are the rational reasons. It’s the global HO… the exposure, the contacts, the chance to live in Europe, the role full of promise… But in my mind, there is a slightly offbeat, erratic, almost romantic aspect to why I am in Finland. I went to a Parsi school, not a convent. I studied Commerce, not Science. I went to XLRI, not an IIM. I studied HR, not Finance. Now I am in Finland, not in USA. In a weird way, that makes sense. These were all turns of fate or serendipity, not something I plotted for. But it forms a pattern. I have always ended up in the slightly offbeat, non commercial version of the standard order. Finland over the States just adds up and establishes the pattern. Whatever has been my peer group or standard world view, my life has taken the path not so central. All Indian parents want their kids to study in a convent school, become doctors or go to an IIM. What I have is not better or worse, but its just (in the case of Finland, literally!) the road less traveled. And I hope it will make all the difference.
But I digress…
So blogging it is. What will it be? A fad or a long term outlet? Will I have something to say regularly or will this just die out like my guitar lessons? Will I reveal more than I should? Both the old school and the new one are telling me to take it as it comes…
But what will I write about? I don’t have anything to say… Or do I? I am beginning one of the most exciting journeys of my life so far. I want to share my experiences with my friends, I want to capture these memories forever, I want to set some people thinking. Have I actually lost the excuse that I don’t blog because I have nothing to blog about?
The old school of thought and the new one sit on either of my shoulders and whisper in my ears. Just that they are not obviously black or white. Or for that matter cautious or tempting. They are just two opposing voices. Let me try to yin and yang them into cooperating with each other.
It’s Finland that makes me want to blog. ‘Why Finland’ is what all non-Nokia people back home asked me when I was preparing to leave. Ofcourse there are the rational reasons. It’s the global HO… the exposure, the contacts, the chance to live in Europe, the role full of promise… But in my mind, there is a slightly offbeat, erratic, almost romantic aspect to why I am in Finland. I went to a Parsi school, not a convent. I studied Commerce, not Science. I went to XLRI, not an IIM. I studied HR, not Finance. Now I am in Finland, not in USA. In a weird way, that makes sense. These were all turns of fate or serendipity, not something I plotted for. But it forms a pattern. I have always ended up in the slightly offbeat, non commercial version of the standard order. Finland over the States just adds up and establishes the pattern. Whatever has been my peer group or standard world view, my life has taken the path not so central. All Indian parents want their kids to study in a convent school, become doctors or go to an IIM. What I have is not better or worse, but its just (in the case of Finland, literally!) the road less traveled. And I hope it will make all the difference.
But I digress…
So blogging it is. What will it be? A fad or a long term outlet? Will I have something to say regularly or will this just die out like my guitar lessons? Will I reveal more than I should? Both the old school and the new one are telling me to take it as it comes…
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